too much fluffy love

>> Tuesday, September 28, 2010

as amazing as i think my life is...my life actually sucks. there are many reasons why i say that, but the one in mind is this: i am not a self motivator. i wasn't born with that gene. my extremely laid back attitude works more against me than it does for me. i have to remind myself that i no longer live in relaxed jamaica....this life is the real world.

there are soo many things i want to achieve and yearn to achieve, a fuller life i want to live, but to be honest with you, the love i have for doing nothingness trumps any sort of future i want to have. i've tried to change it, tried to push myself; made daily to do lists, gotten up super early and went to bed late, created and posted mantras all over my room, and it works for a little bit, life becomes crazy productive and then i fall off the wagon into my fluffy white fluffiness.

maybe i need to spend more time creating better habits, self motivational habits.
do i need to pray for God to change my ways? or do i need to burn my bed and sleep uncomfortable on the floor?

if my future happiness is not motivation enough for me, than what is? like really....?

2 comments:

Da_Kween Saturday, October 02, 2010  

The prayer works...I'd tell you to be still, but kinda like me you'd probably just go to sleep. lol

Nothing happens overnight...you're probably not in love...with your life's passion, yet. Continue eating life and I'm sure you'll bite into something that'll make you swoon...

It's never too late to get started...I believe in you. Do you believe in you?

la.moi Saturday, October 02, 2010  

i definitely believe that it's never too late, but i'm not 100% sure if i believe in me though...that just really made me think.

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