giving, taking, and the pain inbetween

>> Friday, May 14, 2010

as a natural born giver, i'm starting to notice that i give alot more than i take, and honestly i want to be able to do some more taking.
for example, my sister, i honestly believe this girl is allergic to the government taxi, she will call me all hours asking her to drive her all about the place, it's gotten to the point when i actually dislike driving.
and my mother, always asking me to do so many things for her, but if i ask her something that will make my life easier, it usually is an automatic no...i know you gave birth to me and all, but it's about time you got over that and moved on.
as a christian, i am called to love above and beyond myself and in the attitude of Jesus, but sometimes i feel as if i am the only one that is doing that. i'm often left with the thought 'i'm sacrficing my comfort for you, but who is doing that for me?'....and sometimes there are crickets.
but God reminds me that i'm not loving to be loved, i'm not giving in order to take, everything i do is for the beauty of God's way to shine through human ugliness and my ugliness sometimes.

if my fellow christians were all following the words and example's of Christ, no one would have a chance to feel like i do. because we would all be living our lives to make each other's lives easier, that's what it is about: living your life in a way that makes other people's lives around you easier. so if i am sacrificing my comfort for you, and you are sacrificing your comfort for me, in the end both of us will be comfortable. that's why it's called scarificing, because more times it hurts to do it, and you have to give up something in order to fulfill the task, whether it's time, money, your plans, your space etc...

but unfortunatley we live in a selfish world, and everyone is out for themself.

but, i'm not everyone, and although i feel like i am doing all the giving, it really is better to give than to recieve, i need to sparadically remind myself that i'm not loving, and giving and doing for man to see me and applaud me, but God's heartbeat is the one i want the world to hear, not my own.


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