love, scabbed knees, and the human pretzel

' a hopeful attitude expects the best, is prepared for the worst, and is flexible enough to take what comes.'

the best: love. it amazes me, that when someone tells me they genuinely love me, how hard it is for me to accept it. that's only happened thrice in my life. true love. real love. not 'i love your body' love, or 'i love your sex' love, but 'lamoi, i love you'...i've run from that kind of love. i'm terrified of that kind of love. i've sabotaged that kind of love, because i never think i'm good enough for that kind of love, why would anyone want to love me? but it is that kind of love i should expect to recieve. i deserve that kind of love. i am good enough. so in honor of hopeful attitudes, i will expect and demand to be truly loved, unconditionally loved, a man must love me like my daddy loves me. a friend must love me like my daddy loves me. plain and simple. and i will love, harder, deeper and more sincerely than before, i will love like my daddy.

the worst: failure. unfortunately torn jeans and scabbed knees are a necessary part of life. we all must and will fail, life lessons must be learned. very recently i was in the midst of healing a twice broken heart (can we say damn!). i felt as if i had lost everything, and i had failed miserably, but i learned my lesson. i got up, brushed off, and bandaged up my torn knees, went on facebook and laughed at his new girlfriends bushy eyebrows and mustache and felt better. we all fail, whether it be in love, in family, in business, in school, or at life..failure is a must, so in honor of hopeful attitudes and preparation, i will walk around with bandaids and rubbing alcohol. i will remember that my failures do not make me who i am, but my determination to live does.

flexibility: change. i love change. bun being stagnant and all routine like. everyday is a change waiting to be encountered. change breeds challenge, self awareness, self honesty and enlightenment. shoot, it brings fun, new experiences, new opportunities and new people into your life. change is constant. change viewed through the wrong colored glasses may make new opportunites seem like failures, hence the needed acrobatics when it comes to life. so in honor of hopeful attitudes, i will embrace change, not only that, but i will hike up my skirt, take off my heels and chase after it if i have to, because change brings growth, and this 5"2 1/2 chick has not stopped growing yet.

love. failures. change. hopeful attitudes.