apostaday: the end

it is finished. 

the end of the june blogging challenge.

i would like to thank http://thainfamousnobody.blogspot.com/ and http://brownsugarsoulpoetry.blogspot.com/ for coming along for the ride and taking up the challenge as well. it has been fun and it definitely has been real. i've learned soo much about myself and my mind through this challenge and will share once i come back from my week long blogging vaycay (trust me, it's well needed)

so fellow bloggers and readers, thanx for all your comments and well wishings, and i will see you beautiful people in a week.

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apostaday: race

nostrils flaring. breaths coming out in short spurts.

looking around i realize i'm not the only one, many swooshing elbows form a perfect line, many sweat beads create a shimmering pool of passion, pride, helplessness and certain uncertainty. as i run, memories and thoughts flash through my mind as experiences and opportunities fly past barely kissing my cheek. first loves, first kisses, first words, first secrets, first intense bonding, first musical notes, first cries, first serene contemplations and first hates are like cloud wisps in the sky, beautiful but barely noticeable.

we're all in this race of life.
racing to finish.

who will be the first to die?

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apostaday: love

of all things that should stress you out.... love shouldn't be one of them.
of all things that stress you out.... love stresses you out the most.
of all the things...love.

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apostaday: closure and freezies

today was good day, but also a hard day.
i came to the conclusion that closure might be overrated.
i also came to the conclusion that sometimes eating a jumbo freezie can give you run belly.

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apostaday: does it hurt?

do you ever feel like your life is one big mistake? one big fall down an endless staircase?

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apostaday: TGIF

....i apologize to the vegetarians.

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apostaday: smile awhile...

'how often we smile depends on how wide open our eyes are' la.moi

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apostaday: temptation suck

temptation sucks. lately i've been battling with something i thought i didn't have to battle with anymore, it's been affecting my dreams, molesting my thoughts and creeping up on my senses as if to prove to me it still has a hold on my body. and a few times i've given in...(and for those of you wondering, it's not sex, i'm still celibate...lol)

but today as i read matthew chapter 4 v 1-11, i was reminded of something. Jesus was tempted too. weak, tired, and hungry, he was tempted 3 times, but he never gave in. and that gives me hope. no matter what temptation comes my way, the courage, strength and surety that Jesus had, i also have. i am no longer a slave to anything, nothing holds me, nothing controls me, i don't have the right to use the excuse 'i'm only human' (which by the way i hate!). i can stand against whatever is trying to prove it's point by tormenting me.

torment me all you want, but like an annoying beetle i can flick you off and cut of your head (zombie reference...i just had to).

i can stand.
*heavy sigh of relief*

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apostaday: twinkle, twinkle little scar

looking into mirrored glass
gives no answers, only more asked

questions of who i am in your sight

big , colourful cover ups, cover all my inner scars

some created by me and some by falling stars.

they fell so brightly, you see

those falling stars

falling from darkness to earth

tumbeling, continually as to call attention

to their glittery promise of self

they looked like beauty

beauty fell right into my open hands

not the saviour i expected, but i accepted,

and so finding myself

i had to touch, stroke and hold close to me

seering my sin into my skin

now a constant reminder to look down

when purity looks at me....

your purity looks at me

looks intently at me

removes the mirrored glass

removes my colourful cover ups

and stares affectedly at my inner scars,

and falling stars burned into my skin

become beauty marks

tales of where i've been

throbbing to the inate music of the forgiven

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apostaday: loss for words

currently my present seems to be made up of quick one liners and random thoughts. seemingly gone are the days when i wrote pages of opinions and thoughts, poems and articles. now. it's. just. this.

words.
where have you gone?
are you going to come back?
if so, when?
do you want me to plan you a party in the meantime?

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apostaday: birthday shoutouts and apologies

i was doing sooo well too! but i am about a half and hour late on my sunday posting, my excuse: it was my cousins birthday and we were celebrating...will you forgive me? and let me finish the challenge?

'never forsake the family you love, everyone else can fall off.'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABI!

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apostaday: nine words women use

Nine words women use...


1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying....well, we won't go there!

9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

.......it's funny how incredibly true these are.

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apostaday: TGIF

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apostaday: showers and such

today was a hectic day. matter of fact yesterday was a hectic day also. and to add to the hectic atmosphere already created, tomorrow and saturday will also be hectic days. my friend is getting married. i am her maid of honor, and her bridal shower is on saturday. enough said.

as i am typing my fingertips are screaming out to me hateful words, like murder and frostbite. creating centerpeices for 8 tables wasn't the bad part, it was wrapping the 40 individual take away gifts as extravagantly as possible (equipped with a mini thank you pic of the bride herself), which has my body exhausted. not to mention the running around and shopping i and another bridesmaid had to do. but all in all it was worth it, she will be so surprised and delighted at the beauty of the set up.

these past few days have rekindled 3 joys inside of me.

event planning,

event decorating,

photography.

'take a picture and call it beauty'

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apostaday: finish the sentence

would it be horribly awkward and out of line if i told you...(that i still really miss you)
 i asked my friends to finish this sentence, here are their responses...

*that your breath smeels like poo
*that you have a booger on the edge of your nostril
*i masturbate sometimes
*that your feet smell
*that you're kind of always on my mind
*that you are crazy
*that once i was laughing so hard i pooed in my car
*that you're my aunt and also my sister

ROFL...gotta love my friends.
now it's your turn, leave me a comment and finish the sentence

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apostaday: my short story

Write a brief bit of fiction using the prompt "late."  via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2010/06/friday-fiction-late.html

like every other time, she was too late. that seemed to be the curse that followed her through life, late for school which cost her the window seat, late for work punctuated by the stares from her boss greg , late for dinner which awarded her the scrawniest chicken leg, and now late for this.
she stood as an 'i'm over being embarrassed' sigh escaped her lips. 'tomorrow i will do better' she thought to herself as the yellow puddle of urine seeped and puddled around her feet.

tomorrow she promised herself, she will make it to the bathroom on time.

by la.moi

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apostaday: a bowl of love

when my sibilings were younger they supremely named the side dish of steamed cabbage 'love'.

we still call it that today.

anyone want to share a bowl of love with me?

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music monday: sho baraka 'word'

such a banger. windows down. other drivers mad. so loud.

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apostaday: you look like an idiot

i will never understand people's convictions or lack of. more than that i will never understand people's rationale when it comes to right and wrong, and the need to lie (which is hilarious since i am an ex-liar myself)

if you firmly believe that what you are doing is right, why lie about it?
why go through all the deliberate skany motions, why not do your business out in the open, if you really have nothing to hide. it makes no sense to me.

guilt. that deer in the headlights look you get when you lie and lie confident the other party is as much of an ignorant fool as you, only to be headed off by evidence of your buffoonery. guilt only shows up when you know you are doing something that is not kosher, guilt tells you that you need to be shady, that you need to cover it up and lie about it, that you need to come out looking like a heediot because more often than not that is the end result.

smh...i will just never understand it. if you believe what you are doing is right, why spend hours and weeks defending your behavior? you know why you spend hours and weeks defending your behavior? because you know you are/were being a damn fool for your actions, and the feeling isn't even down deep in your heart, it's written all over your face. i guess the conclusion of my ranting is; just be true to yourself and to your motives, if you know you're being shady don't act like you aren't in the wrong and you're so surprised you got caught. even if you get caught, stand up for yourself and be accountable for your stupidity, and when you're feeling guilty realize that is because you are doing something idiotic and it will only make you look idiotic in the end.

end of rant.

...................................................................................................................................

i sent out a mass text to my friends and 2 ex's to see their response to the question 'what is something you will never understand'....here are some of their answers...

* i will never understand why animals can understand humans so well, and we are incapable of understanding the things they try to say to us

*women, just women in general

* the existance of God & why women in unpleasant situations continue to have children

* i don't think there is anything that God won't reveal an answer to, if you look hard enough for it. except for those topics that God did not mean for man to comprehend-- like sudoku

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apostaday: touch me

the lives that we touch are as numerous as the grains of sand on the beach. each look, each smile, each frown, each passing word of disgust or encouragement results in fingertips stroking breathing skin. cell connecting to cell.

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apostaday: arachnaphobia anyone

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apostaday: anonymous lives

Anonymous,

synonymous with being forgotten

laid to rest before one’s time,

Undisclosed

Nameless faces living nameless lives

As many as the grains of sand, they fall through the crack

Without making a sound

Unsigned lives,

their signatures faded from memory even before the ink dried.

Every day people, facing everyday lives

but every day people don’t make it back alive,

they are born, but breathe unidentified,

with faces resembling images in the mirror

laughing, smiling faces captured in every picture

they are you and I

Yet you and I

smile and walk by

looking in the fading eyes of those unknown

the flickering light of life succumbing to the darkness,

we cringe and turn away,

but we can’t help look back at the poor unfortunate soul

only to find that the wind has come and blown,

as mysterious as they have begun, only a shadow exists to tell of what was

and what was is no longer….

Unnamed they are bear your name

Mysterious they bear evidence to the mystery of life

Why I survive and you die....

Exceptional people in unexceptional lives.

Anonymity, excellence’s greatest disguise.

la.moi

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apostaday: model dreams

As a kid, what job did you dream you'd have as an adult? What job do you have now? via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/11/todays-writing-prompt-adult.html

when i was a little girl, i really wanted to be a runway and print model. i dreamed about it and practiced my little heart out. spending hours in front of the mirror i practiced keeping a straight face, smiling without showing all my teeth, flirting with the 'camera', looking bored and answering my interview questions.

and then someone told me i was too short to be a model. and i convinced / lied to myself that good things come in small packages.

now i don't have a job.

but i have a mean walk.

 

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apostaday: whomp whomp

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famous artist.

She told the artist, "Paint me with 3- karat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby pendant."

"But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs. Johnson.

"My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewellery..."

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apostaday: sadly...

i miss my happiness.

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music monday: rhema soul 'steez'

this is definitely one of my new favorite songs...let's see how long it takes for them to become my new favorite group.



if you wanna hear more from Rhema Soul, youtube them or download their mixtape here

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apostaday: a little tongue anyone

What bad habit would you like to change? via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/11/todays-writing-prompt-habit.html

one of my many bad habits is chewing my tongue. 99% of the time it's done when i am in deep concentration doing some kind of work with my hands like braiding hair or writing an essay etc... so i spend a lot of time nursing a swollen and bruised tongue because i really go at it.

and what's really gross is if it's quiet enough you can actually hear me chewing my tongue..

i try to stop it when i catch myself doing it, but the minute i digress back into my glazed eye state, the mouth starts to working again. do i really want to stop? not really, it soothes me in a way that extra and bubbalicious will never be able to do. but i will try and chew quieter from now on.

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apostaday: true love is...

i know, i'm a few minutes last on my a post a day blog, that's what happens when you leave to the last minute...i am not bowing out however...i can do this! (i just need to blog earlier in the day, that's all)

' To truly love someone else means to accept him or her as is - the good with the bad, the strong along with the weak, the honest intertwined with the dishonest. the only way i can do this is by accepting myself the same way ' - not my words, but i wish they were

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apostaday: how to stop office gossip

i have no words for this...

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apostaday: i love you chris

What affect has a child, whether yours or someone else's, had on your life? via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/11/todays-writing-prompt-child.html

one of the many reasons why i am thrilled that my ex smooth and i have remained close friends is because of christopher aka chris. he has become one of the many loves in my life and has inspired me above and beyond my prior dreams.

smooth's parents are foster parents, and they constantly have new children coming in and out of their lives, and when i saw the positive impact a loving family can have on a damaged child it really opened up my heart to the possibility of being a foster parent myself. when smooth and i were talking about getting married and beginning our own family it was not even a question whether or not we would be foster parents or adoptive parents, especially since he works as a caregiver for mentally challenged adults.

but when i met chris who came to them when he was just a baby, i fell in love with the little native indian boy with chubby cheeks, and watching him grow into something beautiful and smart and loving and rude cemented my hope and my dream as a foster parent. our latest adventure quite recently was me crawling around on the floor with him playing 'boo'

as a child of God, it is my duty to do whatever i can to help those in need, to sacrifice my comfort to make others comfortable. it breaks my heart to see children thrown away by their parents, as believers in a God of love, let us show love to those who need it.

chris, i love you and i thank you for being who exactly who you are.

smooth, thank you for sharing your family and your experiences with me, i love you.

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apostaday: zombies and soca

'You have an opportunity to move to one of two locations (same price for each): A large condominium downtown in a big city, with plenty of amenities and all that downtown has to offer; or a farm (or ranch) with acreage, with gorgeous scenery, in the country with your nearest neighbor three miles away. Where will your moving truck be taking you?' via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/10/todays-writing-prompt-city-mouse-or.html

i am a city girl, always have been and always will be. born in kingston jamaica, i hate anything named country for anything longer than a brief visit. memories of visiting st. catherines for my grandfathers wake and funeral has scarred me for life, right beside the scars from the duppie (ghost) stories i used to hear, and the screams ringing in my ears from driving along the skinniest roads overlooking the massivest drop a life has ever seen. with a night blacker than black itself, sounds coming from holes in the ground and from the trees hanging over my head, fireflies that look like eyes staring into your being, no electricity and OUT HOUSES (vomiting)...country, no thank you!

give me the city anytime. loud  noises, loud cars, is like lullaby music to me. pollution, dirty streets, crowded crosswalks, amazing restaurants, extreme personalities, night being interrupted by the neon lights of entertainment, cars blasting soca and reggae at all hours of the night...beauty in the most annoying ways. city life, yes please!

and honestly, i watch horror movies, most notably zombie movies, i'm not risking a 'gorgeous' scenery for a zombie or a psychotic killer with a chainsaw meandering through my kitchen like 'honey i'm home'

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apostaday: my love hate relationship with challenges

honestly i don't even know what to write right now. i thought i had an idea, and it was a good idea, but like a typical woman i changed my mind.

this is the first day of the june blogging challenge, where a few bloggers along with myself will be blogging everyday for the month of june, and i am drawing a complete blank....sigh

do you guys have any suggestions? what do you want me to blog about for the month of june? should i blog about a specific topic or just randomness? please let me know and save me from the uncertainty of my own thoughts :)

here are the other bloggers taking part:
*ms.minnie aka 'rockin' @ http://brownsugarsoulpoetry.blogspot.com/ and http://www.groovecitymagonline.com/
*tha unpretentious narcissist @ http://thainfamousnobody.blogspot.com/
*jay karnell @ http://jkarnell47.blogspot.com/
* anjuan thomas @ http://issacharman.blogspot.com/
* beauty nobility @ http://chocolatepearls.wordpress.com/
check them out and see what the month of june has to bring...oh btw are you in?

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