i am bowing out of this months blog a day challenge, i haven't been giving it my 100% and i need to re-evaluate my love of blogging, should i fight to rekindle or let it pass....
leave me your thoughts and i will see you soon.
losts of love to those that will finish, you guys are amazing! keep it up :)
love you all! Muah!
smart girls are rarely smart when they are dating the man of their dreams. ls
Read more...at what point do you give up on something you love, or use to love.
what if you want to love it again, do you do whatever you can to rekindle that flame? or do you leave it alone? is that a situational situation, where people differ from objects or hobbies? or is all love the same?
do you hold on to your love of ice cream as fervently as you hold on to your love for your significant other.
i say all of this becasue i need to decide if i shoulr hold on to my love of blogging, or if it like other things was just a passing phase.
this is an interesting topic, i feel the need to revisit it.
'to truly love someone is to admit the possiblity of failure and to love inspite of it' la moi
Read more...a few days ago, i was in the dollar store, and an older east indian woman caught my eye and my attention. she wasn't good looking by any means, and i would even call her ugly, i stared at the wedding ring on her finger and the stands of grey hair and the thought was spoken to me 'she has a love story that no one will ever know.' and that really opened my eyes to everyone around me... everyone has a love story.
the people that we see on the road, randomly passing in and out of our lives, the ones we mistreat because we have a bad day, the ones that mistreat us, and the ones we don't give a crap about...everyone has a love story. a defining love story, one of pain or one of happiness.
since that epiphany, i have been seeing people in a whole new light. let's see if that ephipany changes the way i interact with others.
i'm sick.
really sick. snot running, head aching, eyes burning, body shaking sick.
i'm pretty sure snot got into my nose as i was wiping it.
but keeping it real though....the one thing i love about being sick is the weight i lose from not eating.
*shrugs*
i'm just sayin...
what do you guys love about being sick.
i'm not in a very love mood tonight.
i'm very pissed right now.
thanx dad. *kiss teet*
let me remind myself...'i am love'
'i am love'
'i am love'
the idea [of love] and the reality [of love] are very different. beautifully so, or horribly so it like everything else deserves a chance... LS
what does that even mean.....?
when someone abuses the privilage of being in your life, take the privilage away..LS
love yourself enough to not be put on the shelf, to not be on hold, to not be a doormat that has the welcome stomped and worn out. love yourself enough to be able to walk away, whether it be out of pity, out of pride or out of fear. there is only one you, and you only live once, and your joy only depends on you and no one else. unconditionally love you enough to say enough is enough.
*deuces*
(that looks wicked when it's done with confidence)
there was a dead gopher lying in the road. hit by a car, it's motionless body was broken and sad looking. who knows why it was crossing the road, but on the other side was another gopher sitting motionless. waiting for it's friend to get up. unmoving. just waiting. flight or fight, danger must have been telling it to run, but it just sat there waiting and hoping for it's friend to get up so they could continue their journey.
true story.
love.
10 LOVE'S TO DO:
#1 love me
#2 love me enough to be comfortable any size that i am...even when i gain that extra booty
#3 love my bad hair days, it will force me to be my creative self
#4 love my fear, because it will make me angry enough to stomp past it
#5 love my randomness, because no one does random quite like me
#6 love my past, and accept it as only my past. it has made me who i am and i am not ashamed.
#7 love my inablity to wake up in the mornings, what can i say, God made sleep sweet
#8 love my innappropriate use of the english language, just because i say molest doesn't mean a child is in danger of being touched.
#9 love my tears, happy or sad, there are some days when i need to be emotionally cleansed
#10 love me some more.
what is on your '10 love to do' list?
i love vodka and crystal light....so sue me.
...preferably the strawberry banana one.
...and if you don't know, now you know *singing*
what if love is not something to feel, but something to be?
because when love is wrapped up in your feelings, circumstances, situations, and bad days can and will affect the way you act and especially the way love. those around you comment 'you don't seem yourself today', your job suffers, your relationships suffer and your well being suffers. you look less like yourself and more like the miserbale old lady down the street surrounded by cats that aren't even hers.
but when you are love, when love seeps from the depth of your being, no matter what fallacies interrupt your day, love is the only way you know how to be, and so you love unconditionally. facing the world with a different, brighter, more optimistic point of view. even the most hated situations turn out for your good.
i'm trying to teach myself how to be love. how to find love and hold on to it, and melt into so that it becomes
me. i've been in that place with no love and when my love is wrapped up in good days and crapless sidewalks, it gives people power over me, it allows situations to hold my joy captive, only being joyful when i feel to love. so it's time for me to be the love. i own me. God owns me. i own my joy. i own my happiness. it is wrapped up in me.
i am love.
but you can just call me lamoi ;)
"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
Read more... 'i love big earrings! if i was eve, that's all i would wear...and some hot heels' -LaMoi
I DO! i lust love big earrings! the bigger the better. my feeble yet valid reasoning is because i have short hair, almost no hair really, so i need something to fandangle my face. you might say 'highlight' i say 'fandangle'. i'm constantly on the lookout for awesome and unique big earrings, like the ones that hurt your ears when you use the phone so you have to take them out, or grin and bear it (i grin and bear it)
my mom hates my lust love for big earrings, she thinks they are loud and vulgar and tacky, i tell her it's because she's old and doesn't understand youthful 27 year old things *shrugs*
....so if you see any or know of any HOLLA AT ME!
and coupled with my hatred of clothes and my obsessive compulsive need for hot shoes...i'm a big earring wearing, hot heeled naked mess. and i LOVE it!
i've been struggling for the last 15min to write about this months topic...love. which is weird because i'm sooo in love with love and the concept of it! the fact that we have the ability and capacity to have an intense emotion about someone or something (like the mini cupcake in my hand...if i could i think i would marry it) blows me away. so then why is it so hard for me to write a blog post about it. maybe it had to do with the conversation with sweet thing that ended abruptly because he was annoyed by me, rather something i said...i guess it affected me because i love him.
that awkward couple moments brought a lot of thoughts to my mind, but this one thought in particular....do i really love him? how do i know? couldn't it be just my heart using me as pawn because it's bored?
i think i need to re-evaluate my definition of love, like seriously, because hurt, stupid circumstances, and stupider past relationships has skewed my vision and impacted my definition of love...just a TAD bit.
so i guess this month will do just that, help me redefine love, what it is and what it's not. who deserves it and who doesn't? when is it mine to give and when is it mine to take away?
but one thing is for sure....i sure do love my mini cupcakes (cue wedding bells).
Love you all! *MuAh*
it felt that it's about time. for a lot of things.
one: another blog a day challenge. i did one a few months ago, and it was great! so challenging and eye opening for me, and as life will have it, it got busy, so i stopped blogging for a while. but it's time for another one. this time i will be doing a theme, and it will on love...i know it's huge and general, but that the's beauty of it.
two: i struggled with this for a while, prayed about it, cried and was scared about it, but i did it! i shared the most painful, dreadful, personal poem about myself. i basically came out to a group of people, many including my friends and a church sister...sweet thing was there to support me and i couldn't have done it without his support. i was terrfied, but i survived through it. i will be posting it, so you all can read it.
i hope all of you are doing well!
love you all *muah*
as amazing as i think my life is...my life actually sucks. there are many reasons why i say that, but the one in mind is this: i am not a self motivator. i wasn't born with that gene. my extremely laid back attitude works more against me than it does for me. i have to remind myself that i no longer live in relaxed jamaica....this life is the real world.
there are soo many things i want to achieve and yearn to achieve, a fuller life i want to live, but to be honest with you, the love i have for doing nothingness trumps any sort of future i want to have. i've tried to change it, tried to push myself; made daily to do lists, gotten up super early and went to bed late, created and posted mantras all over my room, and it works for a little bit, life becomes crazy productive and then i fall off the wagon into my fluffy white fluffiness.
maybe i need to spend more time creating better habits, self motivational habits.
do i need to pray for God to change my ways? or do i need to burn my bed and sleep uncomfortable on the floor?
if my future happiness is not motivation enough for me, than what is? like really....?
i need to get to writing. and memorizing. i have a show coming up sept 3rd and i need to memorize at least 2 more pieces, so far i know i'm going to perform 'cook' but not sure about the other 2.i hate to admit it but i'm discouraged. it's like i want to write really badly...but, it's just whatever.
August 5th was the first night of the Lyme and Tings competition, it's set up american idol apollo style, complete with judges (4) and a bell if they want you to stop because they weren't feeling you. i was third on the roster, nervous as hell, but i knew i was gonna kill it. and i did with 'skin on skin'. 2 judges were feeling me, 2 gave great constructive criticism, the audience loved me....
a number of the contestants after me, got stopped in the midst of their performances, many of them straight up sucked...
but at the end of the night, i got cut. and it hurt. really badly. the nightmare i had a few nights prior to the show actually came true.
maybe i was too over confident, thinking i'm this hugely great thing, when in essence i'm not.....because i got cut. mind you, i didn't go looking to be in this show, one of the producers came up to me after seeing me perform and asked me to be in it, i told her no but she wouldn't take no for an answer. not only did getting cut stir up a hidden thing (i don't even know what to call it), but it helped me reach the decision that i highly doubt i will ever be a part of a competition ever again.
ohh, and then one of the judges who was last years winner went up and sang. O_o
it was unimpressive. very unimpressive. they need a new winner....
and the whole night even before i heard the results, i was saying to myself ' i hope sweet thing won't be disappointed in me '...because i just knew i was going to get cut.
today is friday, and that means my family had pizza today.
that also means i learned a lesson today.
let me interject with; my family loves pizza! i love pizza! on pizza nights we usually have 4 slices each person, so when my sister informed me that we were only allowed 2 slices each, i immediately got whiney and annoyed. over pizza. the sad thing is when i started complaining i got a mental image of children with swollen bellies and flys lounging on their foreheads. needless to say the shame was immediate.
a little more thankfulness please.
hey everyone!
i've been MIA, as i hope you've noticed. since the blog-a-day challenge ended, i've been on a hiatus from blogging, and in that time i've realized that i have lost the passion to blog continually...i don't know what that means for 'pearls and rubies' right now, but i'll be here until i find out.
life has gotten really crazy for me, yesterday (aug 1) i was a part of the irie music festival. what an amazing opportunity! i shared 4 pieces (i make love to words, anonymous lives, love, and butterflies) with a crowd of great people, sharing a stage with 3 other great spoken word artists, and i got paid for it!
starting this thursday, i will be a part of a apollo style competition consisting of singers, mc's and spoken word artists called 'lyme and tings' and not only that, i was also chosen to help promote the competition by appearing on tv doing a piece...whew
i also have a show coming up in septemeber...whew again.
poetry guy (sweet thing) and i have gotten back together, and i am sooo happy it's crazy how happy he makes me.
also, check out my poetry blog http://www.fireflyorison.blogspot.com/ where you can buy prints of my pieces coupled with my photography.
that's it for updates for now.
here is my open mic performance at the livest open min spot in toronto 'acoustic soul' held at the trane studio...enjoy!
it is finished.
nostrils flaring. breaths coming out in short spurts.
who will be the first to die?of all things that should stress you out.... love shouldn't be one of them.
of all things that stress you out.... love stresses you out the most.
of all the things...love.
today was good day, but also a hard day.
i came to the conclusion that closure might be overrated.
i also came to the conclusion that sometimes eating a jumbo freezie can give you run belly.
temptation sucks. lately i've been battling with something i thought i didn't have to battle with anymore, it's been affecting my dreams, molesting my thoughts and creeping up on my senses as if to prove to me it still has a hold on my body. and a few times i've given in...(and for those of you wondering, it's not sex, i'm still celibate...lol)
but today as i read matthew chapter 4 v 1-11, i was reminded of something. Jesus was tempted too. weak, tired, and hungry, he was tempted 3 times, but he never gave in. and that gives me hope. no matter what temptation comes my way, the courage, strength and surety that Jesus had, i also have. i am no longer a slave to anything, nothing holds me, nothing controls me, i don't have the right to use the excuse 'i'm only human' (which by the way i hate!). i can stand against whatever is trying to prove it's point by tormenting me.
torment me all you want, but like an annoying beetle i can flick you off and cut of your head (zombie reference...i just had to).
i can stand.
*heavy sigh of relief*
i was doing sooo well too! but i am about a half and hour late on my sunday posting, my excuse: it was my cousins birthday and we were celebrating...will you forgive me? and let me finish the challenge?
Nine words women use...
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying....well, we won't go there!
9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!
.......it's funny how incredibly true these are.
today was a hectic day. matter of fact yesterday was a hectic day also. and to add to the hectic atmosphere already created, tomorrow and saturday will also be hectic days. my friend is getting married. i am her maid of honor, and her bridal shower is on saturday. enough said.
as i am typing my fingertips are screaming out to me hateful words, like murder and frostbite. creating centerpeices for 8 tables wasn't the bad part, it was wrapping the 40 individual take away gifts as extravagantly as possible (equipped with a mini thank you pic of the bride herself), which has my body exhausted. not to mention the running around and shopping i and another bridesmaid had to do. but all in all it was worth it, she will be so surprised and delighted at the beauty of the set up.
would it be horribly awkward and out of line if i told you...(that i still really miss you)
i asked my friends to finish this sentence, here are their responses...
*that your breath smeels like poo
*that you have a booger on the edge of your nostril
*i masturbate sometimes
*that your feet smell
*that you're kind of always on my mind
*that you are crazy
*that once i was laughing so hard i pooed in my car
*that you're my aunt and also my sister
ROFL...gotta love my friends.
now it's your turn, leave me a comment and finish the sentence
Write a brief bit of fiction using the prompt "late." via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2010/06/friday-fiction-late.html
like every other time, she was too late. that seemed to be the curse that followed her through life, late for school which cost her the window seat, late for work punctuated by the stares from her boss greg , late for dinner which awarded her the scrawniest chicken leg, and now late for this.
she stood as an 'i'm over being embarrassed' sigh escaped her lips. 'tomorrow i will do better' she thought to herself as the yellow puddle of urine seeped and puddled around her feet.
tomorrow she promised herself, she will make it to the bathroom on time.
by la.moi
when my sibilings were younger they supremely named the side dish of steamed cabbage 'love'.such a banger. windows down. other drivers mad. so loud.
the lives that we touch are as numerous as the grains of sand on the beach. each look, each smile, each frown, each passing word of disgust or encouragement results in fingertips stroking breathing skin. cell connecting to cell.
this is definitely one of my new favorite songs...let's see how long it takes for them to become my new favorite group.
if you wanna hear more from Rhema Soul, youtube them or download their mixtape here
i have no words for this...
smooth's parents are foster parents, and they constantly have new children coming in and out of their lives, and when i saw the positive impact a loving family can have on a damaged child it really opened up my heart to the possibility of being a foster parent myself. when smooth and i were talking about getting married and beginning our own family it was not even a question whether or not we would be foster parents or adoptive parents, especially since he works as a caregiver for mentally challenged adults.
'You have an opportunity to move to one of two locations (same price for each): A large condominium downtown in a big city, with plenty of amenities and all that downtown has to offer; or a farm (or ranch) with acreage, with gorgeous scenery, in the country with your nearest neighbor three miles away. Where will your moving truck be taking you?' via http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/10/todays-writing-prompt-city-mouse-or.html
i am a city girl, always have been and always will be. born in kingston jamaica, i hate anything named country for anything longer than a brief visit. memories of visiting st. catherines for my grandfathers wake and funeral has scarred me for life, right beside the scars from the duppie (ghost) stories i used to hear, and the screams ringing in my ears from driving along the skinniest roads overlooking the massivest drop a life has ever seen. with a night blacker than black itself, sounds coming from holes in the ground and from the trees hanging over my head, fireflies that look like eyes staring into your being, no electricity and OUT HOUSES (vomiting)...country, no thank you!
give me the city anytime. loud noises, loud cars, is like lullaby music to me. pollution, dirty streets, crowded crosswalks, amazing restaurants, extreme personalities, night being interrupted by the neon lights of entertainment, cars blasting soca and reggae at all hours of the night...beauty in the most annoying ways. city life, yes please!
and honestly, i watch horror movies, most notably zombie movies, i'm not risking a 'gorgeous' scenery for a zombie or a psychotic killer with a chainsaw meandering through my kitchen like 'honey i'm home'
honestly i don't even know what to write right now. i thought i had an idea, and it was a good idea, but like a typical woman i changed my mind.
this is the first day of the june blogging challenge, where a few bloggers along with myself will be blogging everyday for the month of june, and i am drawing a complete blank....sigh
do you guys have any suggestions? what do you want me to blog about for the month of june? should i blog about a specific topic or just randomness? please let me know and save me from the uncertainty of my own thoughts :)
here are the other bloggers taking part:
*ms.minnie aka 'rockin' @ http://brownsugarsoulpoetry.blogspot.com/ and http://www.groovecitymagonline.com/
*tha unpretentious narcissist @ http://thainfamousnobody.blogspot.com/
*jay karnell @ http://jkarnell47.blogspot.com/
* anjuan thomas @ http://issacharman.blogspot.com/
* beauty nobility @ http://chocolatepearls.wordpress.com/
check them out and see what the month of june has to bring...oh btw are you in?
a new week, new randoms, and new opportunities. though last week may have been great, it's time for us to move on.
last week i fasted and it was great! hard, as it puts your body under subjection by denying it what it needs most...food, but it enriches and strengthens your spirit, because you indulge it in what it needs most...God.
so i feel good, my relationship with my heavenly father is getting stronger and stronger, it blows my mind how much things have changed since i posted my update on my old blog it's been like 4 months, but feels like a lifetime.
saturday night was the icing on the cake! my younger brother and i went to a youth/young adult meeting called 'exodus' and God was sooo huge in that place, the worship was amazing, but the word...OMG...the word was what pushed it over the edge. the message by glenn bodansky aka white tyrone was on the keys that lock the doors of the devils work out of your life and unlocks the doors of God's amazing work in your life and the lives around you...right!? OMG....it was great. (if you want more info on the speaker or the message hit me up via email or messenger)
here is a few of the songs the worship team sang, that can give you a glimpse into my excitement :)
during the above song, at the part he says 'lift my hands and spin around', this little girl, 4-5 years old starts spinning at the altar until she fell in pure joy..it was such a beautiful example of the joy and childlike spirit God gives us.
such a beautiful monday morning. i actually like mondays, especially since i stopped working because it offers a relax from my normally hectic weekends. but this week is going to be awesomely interesting, brooklyn asked me to go on fasting with him from today until sunday, so as i tweeted earlier my time on social networking sites such as twitter and facebook will be limited as my focus will be getting closer to God and his word. but there is always a way to reach me if you want to
as a natural born giver, i'm starting to notice that i give alot more than i take, and honestly i want to be able to do some more taking.
for example, my sister, i honestly believe this girl is allergic to the government taxi, she will call me all hours asking her to drive her all about the place, it's gotten to the point when i actually dislike driving.
and my mother, always asking me to do so many things for her, but if i ask her something that will make my life easier, it usually is an automatic no...i know you gave birth to me and all, but it's about time you got over that and moved on.
as a christian, i am called to love above and beyond myself and in the attitude of Jesus, but sometimes i feel as if i am the only one that is doing that. i'm often left with the thought 'i'm sacrficing my comfort for you, but who is doing that for me?'....and sometimes there are crickets.
but God reminds me that i'm not loving to be loved, i'm not giving in order to take, everything i do is for the beauty of God's way to shine through human ugliness and my ugliness sometimes.
if my fellow christians were all following the words and example's of Christ, no one would have a chance to feel like i do. because we would all be living our lives to make each other's lives easier, that's what it is about: living your life in a way that makes other people's lives around you easier. so if i am sacrificing my comfort for you, and you are sacrificing your comfort for me, in the end both of us will be comfortable. that's why it's called scarificing, because more times it hurts to do it, and you have to give up something in order to fulfill the task, whether it's time, money, your plans, your space etc...
but unfortunatley we live in a selfish world, and everyone is out for themself.
but, i'm not everyone, and although i feel like i am doing all the giving, it really is better to give than to recieve, i need to sparadically remind myself that i'm not loving, and giving and doing for man to see me and applaud me, but God's heartbeat is the one i want the world to hear, not my own.
what do fridays really mean? for some it's the ending of common sense and the beginning of stupidity... until monday.
Read more...someone: my vagina hurts
my mom: because it needs to bathe
me: *DEAD!!!!!*
yayyy, as many of you know i am now 27! 
© Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009
Back to TOP
